Reddit, the self-proclaimed front-page of the internet, is a social network unlike any other. With a culture, in-jokes and history all of its own, some Reddit posts have such an impact that they become legends. These posts are linked to, referenced and joked about, not just on Reddit, but all over the internet.
Here are 10 Reddit posts that have become Reddit legend, Share any others you think should be on this list.
Honorable Mention: Everyone Get’s To Share A Secret That Would Destroy Their Life
Reddit is a unique social network in that it allows you to have as much or as little anonymity as you choose.
For every user who removes all identifying information from an image of their cat being derpy, there are others that share posts of intimacy issues and relationship troubles while totally failing to remember that the previous post in their history is a poorly lit but very identifiable still from their sex tape.
Also, one guy once posted a picture of his hand but redacted his finger-prints in Microsoft paint first. People are funny about online privacy.
Some subreddits have rules about the detail required in a post, which means a well-executed DIY project might include a hundred-image step-by-step photo album with every vapid detail of the build captured and including three separate photos of paint actually drying (We are looking at you VIMES writer Leroy Butts).
Then, you get posts like this one in which everyone wanders in, drops a potentially life-upending secret and then just sort of abandons the post.
0% closure guaranteed.
Notable entries include:
- Stealing money from the room of a dead teenage cousin while at his house for the wake.
- Continuing to live secretly in a bunker under a house that the Redditor had sold years previously
- Actually a homeless prostitute while friends and family think they have a c-level job.
- Shooting an injured man in the head during deployment to ease his suffering.
Our first entry on the list is about Kevin. We need to talk about Kevin.
In a post about the dumbest people that Redditors’ have had the miss-pleasure to deal with, Kevin took out accolades for being the bright spark the grease-fire of humanity didn’t need.
Teacher-by-day Reddit user u/Noahthered shared their experiences of the titular Kevin, a student who was “simultaneously everything wrong and everything right in with the world”.
The teacher attributes Kevin’s existence to “blind luck”, “some type of sick divine intervention”, and “the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement.” While Kevin is described as bearing some resemblance to his cherubic namesake from Home Alone, he managed to earn the ire of u/Noahthered, a woman who claims she could even find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, but found nothing there for Kevin.
Kevin’s summary of achievements:
- Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
- Kevin stole another student’s iPhone….and tried to sell it back to them.
- Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn’t him.
- Kevin’s dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me…his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin’s “achievements” became legend, and it is now a frequent feature of the internet to see a post that includes some less then intelligent behavior get a follow up question as to whether Kevin was involved in some capacity.
#9 Reddit User Decides To Try Heroin For Fun – Hilarity Doesn’t Ensue
Reddit user u/SpontaneousH shared on reddit how he had tried Heroin for the first time the previous day, “just once, for funsies”.
During the post the user shared that he is well educated with a good job and no major life problems and was just bored and wanted to see what it was like. He made the choice to try one of the most addictive drugs on a whim – A one-time thing, not to be repeated…
For once the Reddit comment section was united, and advice generally along the lines of “don’t do it, you idiot” was frequented, but alas it was too late.
In a follow up post two weeks later u/SpontaneousH shares how he has continued using and has now gone from snorting the drug to injecting. His life had fallen apart in almost every conceivable way, and the future wasn’t looking all that bright either… and he is only two weeks in!
A lot of commentators called bullshit on his story, but a distraught OP shared photos for evidence.
A month later he shares an update from a psychiatric hospital where he is now a patient after overdosing on fentanyl and being pronounced clinically dead (before being revived in hospital).
u/SpontaneousH proceeds to make updates on his attempts at rehab, before eventually going quiet. Reddit assumed the worst and suspected death, however almost a decade later the user updates that he survived and has been clean from Heroin for 8 years.
Don’t do drugs kids.
#8 The Rise and Fall of u/Gallowboob
Reddit has a points system known as karma, when you post or comment on Reddit, your entry is upvoted or downvoted based on how much other users enjoy what you are saying. This is why my personal reddit account has 26 karma, an arguably low score mostly due to my continued insistence that r/The_Donald is actually about the famous duck of the same name.
The karma system does have some advantages, as it helps curate content as more upvoted posts are seen by more users. But it does also give Reddit a certain sameness across the platform that dictates what is socially acceptable (for Reddit) and what isn’t.
While my 26 karma score means that any post I make is unlikely to sway hearts and minds, there are some users that have amassed such a ridiculous amounts of Karma that they have obtained a certain celebrity status on the social network.
At the time of writing u/GallowBoob has 29,009,868 karma, and he seems to grow karma at an exponential rate.
u/GallowBoob’s influence is so widespread that there is even a subreddit devoted to discussing him… which he happens to be a moderator of. In fact u/GallowBoob is a moderator for a lot of very popular subreddits. This kind of karma score plus his many moderator roles has lead to a lot of speculation and conspiracy theories about u/GallowBoob actually being a corporate account designed to spread sponsored content.
A problem with Reddit celebrity in this case is that u/GallowBoob can be kind of a dick, like when during his first year on Reddit he did an AMA showboating his karma score. This resulted in no small amount of user pushback and a lot of subsequent subreddit drama, eventuating in a user war against u/GallowBoob that went to some pretty cringe inducing places, including hundred of users summoning the prolific Redditor and abusing him.
See this post for a very indepth blow-by-blow.
The initial battle was actually lost by u/GallowBoob who was shadow banned for handing out as much harassment as he got. However, Reddit’s always hungry fleet of detectives uncovered new information resulting in the unbanning of u/GallowBoob. A trial and subsequent conviction against some of the folks on the other side of the war was even held in the self-proclaimed r/karmacourt.
u/GallowBoob continues to have the fastest growing Karma score on the site, but has that netted him any real life benefits beyond bragging right? Apparently not directly, but we’ll see.
#7 Rage Comic Leads to Testicular Cancer Diagnosis
It isn’t every day that posting a meme can lead to a cancer diagnosis. Reddit user u/CappnPoopDeck posted a rage comic meme based on her male friend’s experience of peeing on a pregnancy test. Reddit users, who come from all walks of life, began warning her that while the rage comic might be funny to the ignorant, it’s actually a real medical issue. She was able to warn her friend who got himself tested. A few days later she posted an update saying the doctors did end up finding a small tumor and thanking Reddit’s collective genius for their help.
#6 The Fappening
August 31st 2014 saw an explosion in Reddit growth thanks to an “event” known as “The Fappening”. Drawn by the allure of tits on the internet, The Fappening proved that we’re all a bit degenerate as Reddit recorded record numbers of users flocking to images of celebrities in the buff.
Controversially, the photos were stolen from hacked iCloud accounts and had been shared to the internet by individuals looking to make a quick buck. There was outcry from victims, women’s groups and commentators, but Reddit administrators managed to sit on the fence about the issue for a whole week before finally banning r/thefappening.
VIMES did this whole article: How to Stop The Fappening From Happening which is a delightful boob-rich read we think everyone will enjoy. But most importantly, Reddit does have plenty of porn content that doesn’t seem to be offending everyone so maybe unzip and click your way over to the surprisingly positive r/gonewild for plenty of tits, bits, butts and dicks (obviously not safe for work).
#5 The Boston Bombing Debacle
Reddit is not always a force for good in the world, but usually it is more a case of a slow kid showing too much love to a pet rabbit, than a sadistic kid torturing the fluffy bunny. Either way it never ends well for the rabbit.
In April 2013 the world watched in shock as the Boston Bombing terrorist attack killed three people and injured an additional 264. In the initial aftermath of the attack, Reddit became an army of keyboard-vigilantes, crowd sourcing information and trying to find the identity of the person or people behind the attack.
Unfortunately, Reddit sleuths turned out to be more a collection of prejudiced xenophobes then a genius pool of Sherlock Holmes types. Many, many suspects were identified and their photos and identifying information were shared and debated in public forums. One of the chief suspects lambasted across the internet was missing man Sunil Tripathi who was later found innocent, but was also found dead from apparent suicide before the bombings took place. Unfortunately, the combined efforts of Reddit had already debased the man’ memory by fingering him as the bomber, causing a lot of unneeded heart break to Tripathi’s family.
The debacle was so bad that Reddit (the company) had to issue an apology, meanwhile the actual Boston Bomber was treated like a rock-star because he was a bit cute.
#4 The Immortal Snail
“You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars and you both become immortal; however, you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What’s your plan?”
This seemingly ridiculous premise posted to r/askreddit garnered a massive response with some truly creative and well thought out plans. The post became meta very quickly, spawning follow-up questions in r/askreddit (some from the point of view of the snail), and leaking through into other subreddits and the rest of the site. Notable appearances include some fully fleshed out fiction in r/writingprompts and a now ubiquitous “decoy snail” comment showing up regularly in the most unlikely of conversations.
#3 TIFU By Pretending to Not Know What A Potato Was
Meeting the parents of your girlfriend for the first time is an event of no small trepidation for many young men. There is a lot of pressure to make a good first impression and for most people this might involve a shave and a haircut, possibly dropping any casual expletives and generally trying not to draw attention to the fact that your boning someone’s daughter.
The subreddit TIFU (an acronym for the ineloquent “Today I Fucked Up“), is a place for Redditors to share their often-humorous misadventures in the hope for some comradery in shared pain. Reddit user u/NotKnowPotato’s post about his first dinner with his girlfriend’s parents is a train-crash of cringe inducing moments.
When dinner included potatoes, the post’s author recounts how he tried to make a funny by pretending not to know what a potato was. Claiming to have never before seen or heard of the root vegetable and generally coming across as a crazy person.
While arguably not comedy genius to begin with, the joke backfired gloriously as apparent lack of potato familiarity was a trigger for the girlfriend’s family, who met the behavior with incredulity and rage.
Rather than come clean and attempt to smooth over the situation, u/NotKnowPotato instead doubled-down and committed to the bit, resulting in forced expulsion from his girlfriend’s house, and possible (probable) ending of his relationship.
#2 Reddit’s Best Social Experiment Ends After 72 Hours
One thing that is always worth trying to be a part of is the annual Reddit April Fool’s Day event.
Every year Reddit has a new, short lived experience that is always a lot of fun, but it was 2017’s r/place that takes the cake for being one of the most amazing experiences on the internet.
Users who found themselves on r/place were presented with a shared canvas of a total 1 million pixels. Each user was allowed to place one pixel at a location of their choice in one of 16 colours. Any pixel was up for grabs at any time, including coloring over pixels already filled by other Redditors. The challenge was that each Redditor was only allowed to place one single pixel every ten minutes. You would have expected that the resulting image was going to be a pretty basic affair, right?
Wrong. Zoom into that picture, it is absolutely freaking amazing. With subreddit logos, memes, iconic imagery, flags, Star Wars quotes, in-jokes, out-jokes and no joke recreations of master works of art, r/place can tell you so much about Reddit and internet culture in one image.
Remember, r/place was only live for 72 hours, however in that time Redditors from hundreds of subreddits worked together to create their niche’s representation on the canvas.
While some sought to create, others fought to destroy meaning that r/place was as much a battlefield as it was a canvas.
The war of four corners
r/place started with no introduction, no documentation and no rules except for the one-pixel-per-person-per-10-minute-windows-limit-feature hard coded into the platform. The early canvas was initially a hodgepodge of randomly placed coloured pixels while users tried to work out what r/place was for.
The most amazing thing about r/place was the level of organization that evolved amongst the subreddits. The first mass cooperation seen was the war of the four corners in which competing groups tried to colour the whole canvas in one consistent colour, starting from a specified corner. The creation of r/thebluecorner saw folks join the blue team and proliferate blueness starting from the bottom left hand corner of the canvas. Competing groups soon popped up and the battle for colour supremacy was waged.
Countries go to war
Not long after the colour wars started, Redditors banded together to create the first imagery on r/place (that wasn’t a penis). Flags for multiple nations soon sprung up, bringing with them all of the contention and politics of their real-world counterparts. The most hotly contested real-estate on r/place was that occupied by the United States flag, which was under constant threat of destruction and had an active army rebuilding the flag as soon as stray pixels were spotted.
Most notably was the German flags sudden horizontal expansion to overwrite the French flag, in what was called The Second German Annexation of France. The French defenders responded by expanding vertically in both directions resulting in two intersecting lines with contended crossover point.
Reddit Learns Diplomacy
The single most amazing part of r/place is when the subreddits began interacting with each other to negotiate for space, organize alliances and recognize treaties. The German\French flag war was resolved when the contentious cross point became the symbol for the European union. r/Australia (G’Day Cunts), made an alliance with r/parahumans to protect each other’s borders and aid in the repair from attacks. Actual negotiations took place for planned projects like Van Gogh’s’ Starry Night recreation with nearby content makers surrendering pixels for the greater good.
When r/place was live, nobody knew how long it would actually be online for, and the shared mood was feverish as teams struggled to create their artworks and defend their territories, while working towards an unknown end-game.
Reddit wouldn’t be Reddit without trolls, and r/void was created with the intention of destroying the now thriving canvas. Members of r/void would amass clumps of black pixels over completed works, and any communities that did not have the manpower to fight off the incursion would soon see their works of art reduced to a black void.
In most cases the void was beaten back, or the destruction tuned to creation as in the case where a voided section of canvas became Pink Floyd’s historic Dark Side of the Moon album cover.
It’s Reddit history.
r/place was a defining event on reddit and titular moment in Reddit history For more information check out the truly amazing r/place Atlas which explores the history of every item on the completed canvas.
The subsequent April Fool’s Day experiments have been good, but none will ever live up to the experience of being part of r/place.
Here is a time-lapse of the whole creation:
#1 Broke Both My Arms
Let’s start by saying eeeewwww…
Ok VIMES has never pretended to be a family friendly site, but just a heads up that this next bit is the wrong kind of sexy. You’ve been warned.
Upon observing a beautiful woman, have you ever heard someone utter “I would break both my arms for her”? It seems an odd response in the face of beauty, but it is a response that proliferates comment sections all over the internet – especially if the lady in question is someone’s mother.
MILF was after all the third most searched for term on PornHub in 2018 (no link, we know you can find it), proving that the world agrees that woman can and do improve with age. Mothers are frequently hot too.
But, like, not your own mum right?
I know that mothers will do anything for their children. But… not this.
A Reddit post that spawned a thousand jokes and an infinite number of unwanted mental images, became Reddit legend when u/verifiedson shared the story of his… um, relationship… with his… mother.
The events came about when the then 14-year-old u/verifiedson broke both of his arms in an accident and became increasingly frustrated with not being able pleasure himself. For some reason this came to the attention of his parents who felt maybe they should do something to help him out.
Now Reddit is a rather disgusting treasure trove of people fornicating with couches, coconuts and, a whole thread for the ladies on MacGyver style achievements in self-love. Most of these suggestions can be done without the use of both arms, and even if you are the most uncreative of teenagers, life will find away.
And ok, so maybe you have really doting parents and no son of theirs’ is going to intercourse a sponge in a cup. Well if they really must be involved in deseeding the sapling (gross), then surely they can just drop a few dollars on an in-call hooker?
Just don’t… Just don’t fuck your mum.
NOBODY HAS EVER DIED FROM NOT MASTURBATING FOR A FEW MONTHS. Google it, Bing It, Ask Jeeves about it, you won’t find an article that says “in case of emergency break thousands of years of evolution and social and cultural contracts and fuck your mum”.
But that is just what u/ verifiedson did, and then his arms got better and they kept on playing who’s your uncle-brother. What started as a supposedly business-like transaction in which his mother mashed his joystick (presumably while they both had their eyes shut while humming loudly) lead to oral sex and then eventually some good ol’ fashioned P in V.
While most folks would rather have some B in B (Bullet in Brain), the father was apparently generally supportive of the activity at first, but did become jealous of the relationship as it continued long after u/verifiedson’s injuries necessitated it needed to.
Oh and just to make the whole illogical icky mess seem worse, turns out u/verifiedson had a girlfriend at the time. Don’t worry though he used a condom with her (but not with the mother).
The original post was actually an “Ask Me Anything” post which meant that the poster’s identity was verified by Mods and also in this case a certified third party – and unfortunately his story was proven to be true. Reddit users were given the chance to ask the author anything they wanted and most just asked “…but why?”.
u/verifiedson as a grown man has actually been working with researches into the social and scientific implications of incest in modern humans. His approach to the subject matter and answers to questions in the thread are actually very matter-of-fact and probably as close to an insightful look as you will get while tackling the topic of incest.
Something to think about when you ponder why variations on “mother” are three of the top ten porn-hub searches from 2018.
Send your mother our love.