Game of Thrones is a cultural phenomenon. The season 8 premier will almost certainly once again break records for viewership numbers, and for months it is all anyone will be talking about.
But what if you haven’t actually watched Game of Thrones before?
While hard to believe it is true, there are actually still some people who are yet to watch a single episode of Game of Thrones. There are only 5 legitimate excuses for you to be one of those people.
#5: You Just Don’t Get It
I am not going to lie, I am genuinely surprised that a series about dragons, magic and a midget is the worlds most popular TV show. It is genre fantasy after all which traditionally attracts a very specific audience. Somehow, a large chunk of the TV watching world has embraced their inner-nerd and the final season of Game of Thrones is expected to break all kinds of viewership ratings.
But even with all the glorified violence, gratuitous sex and insane hype surrounding Game of Thrones, there are still some people that just don’t get it.
But who are these people? Well, these people are the reason that the most watched TV show for the past few years has actually been The Big Bang Theory. Some people would still rather laugh at the nerds than be one.
But hey, Big Bang fans – no judgement here. You do you.
#4: You Don’t Have Time to Catch Up
Each Game of Thrones episode runs roughly an hour or so in length. At the current time there are 67 episodes released so to catch up you only really need to find a spare 67 hours.
67 hours is less than three days – if you don’t take breaks to eat, sleep, or poop.
But, for the average working adult or parent who barely has time to sleep, 67 hours for a TV show can be hard to justify. Sure, your friends and family will completely understand that you “just don’t have the time” to set aside for the show. Be warned, don’t post on social media about anything else you do outside of normal adult obligations or you may get told that that is time that could (and should) have been spent watching Game of Thrones.
#3: You Think Jumping In Now Is Just Too Intimidating
Game of Thrones is renowned for its complexity, cleverness, and its abundance of characters (we count 269 characters to date). It is a television show that demands your attention and just isn’t for the casual viewer.
One of the things fans love the most about Game of Thrones is the extensive world-building and huge scope of the story. The political maneuvering, diplomacy and elements of deception are as ruthless as the battles and wars waged between the nations of Westeros. Focus is given to characters on opposing sides, showing that each side has their own culture, traditions and beliefs that need to be accounted for when understanding motivation and action.
And also, what the hell is a Dothraki? A Warg? A Khaleesi? Game of Thrones is a big commitment on every level.
#2: You Cannot Get Over The Subscription Paywall
The number one legitimate excuse for not having seen Game of Thrones yet is that it is only available behind a subscription paywall.
Legally, the only way to watch Game of Thrones is to sign up for yet another subscription service. In the US you need an HBO subscription, running at about US$15 a month. In Australia you need a subscription for the generally awful Foxtel Now which will cost you a minimum of $25 a month.
Throughout the rest of the world, Game of Thrones seems to be streaming only on platforms that don’t have much else to offer. In Australia, Foxtel Now subscriptions increase by 40% in the week before Game of Thrones airs, and return to preseason numbers shortly after each season finale.
The monthly cost of the above streaming services may not be unreachable for most people, but are still hard costs to justify when compared with the pricing of superior streaming services like Netflix, Hulu and Stan. And of course, the biggest issue nowadays is that there are so damned many streaming services and the average TV fan may find themselves having to fund multiple monthly subscription services anyway.
Lots of people just don’t get over subscription paywall. Game of Thrones is the most pirated TV show in history. Season 7 was downloaded illegally over 1 billion times!
This all assumes you want to watch the latest episodes as they air. If you are patient you could wait for the DVD releases and enjoy the season free from streaming subscriptions. That is of course provided that you either:
- A: Plan to stay offline and away from human contact for the required months until the latest season can be purchased in your country, or
- B: are content having the finale immediately spoiled for you.
#1: You Had A Fever While Watching The First Episode And Had Crazy Game Of Thrones Fever Dreams For 72 Hours Straight And Now Cannot Watch The Show Out Of Sheer Terror.
This happened to Vimes editor Leroy Butts and he has never again seen another episode.
Season 8 of Game of Thrones is set to premier on April 14th.
We know you will watch it, discuss it with us!
B Michael Logan is a certified healthcare professional secretly moonlighting as a comedy writer. He can be found around the web at @bmichaellogan
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